Bullet Point Wednesday Apr 15

[ok, so it's Friday, fire me]

• At  Last! 

[Game of Thrones on HBO]

This poor schnook has been wandering the planet dressed like this since he betrayed Frodo over a decade ago. I'm glad he's working again. All is forgiven.

• Nice Job Frenchie!

[France Bans the Veil--http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/12/world/europe/12france.html]

We should now rightly heap all the enmity we wrongly heaped on them for not backing Iraq II. 


Speaking of which, why did we heap all that scorn on the French and not the Germans who also didn't back Bush's folly? Why were people dumping their Bordeaux but not their Mercedes? Had we hurt the Germans enough with the whole frankfurter/hot dog thing back during WWI?

• This is Why I Live Here

Russian Girls Rhythmic Gymnastic Team walking down 9th Avenue! I want my own hula hoop case!!

• Global v. Local

We were planning a trip to the ballpark for four, and we had two days/times to choose from. I asked my associate which time she would prefer to see the game: Friday evening or Saturday afternoon. In lieu of reply, she asked:

1. Who's playing?
2. How much are the tickets? 
3. Should I not go? 

After a while I was able to return the conversation to the initial question, and she suggested a time.


Later I pointed out that I had learned through this question [more pointedly than ever] that she had a global approach to answering questions whereas I might approach the question more locally. She asked me what I meant by "global v. local." I mentioned her asking a series of questions around the initial question before she actually answered it. She seemed confused, "Well, how else should I have answered?" 


"By telling me what time you wanted to go."


 "Oh."

• "Hero" Was Exactly the Word I Was Looking For!

[Non-Italics are mine]

...To many, Mr. Charney [American Apparel guy] is not only a somebody but even something of a hero: finding a new niche in a saturated market for cotton basics by refusing to make them overseas [or with actual thread] (despite other companies moving operations abroad); crusading for workers’ rights; and successfully marketing the idea that young adults should embrace their natural sexuality [yeah, that's it]...

---New York Times, April 13, 2011,
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/14/fashion/14CHARNEY.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=dov%20charney&st=cse

Hey, dude, embrace this. 

Bullet Point Wednesday Apr 6

 [a new weekly feature when I remember to do it]

• Take a Walk, Zach

I just saw this pic of Zach Snyder. Surprised to find he's a normal/decent looking dude. Having previously only seen his films [300, Watchmen, Sucker Punch] and not his face, I was convinced that:

1. He’s never been outside, and
2. He’s never gotten laid

• Ew

I was thinking that Mick Jagger is beginning to look like my grandmother, then I realized Mick Jagger could have slept with my grandmother.

• Al Pacino Has Been Cast to Play Matisse

Now that he’s ruined blind people [Scent of a Woman] and Jews [Merchant of Venice] for us, he might as    well go all out and ruin one of the two pillars of 20^th century art as well. Wait til you catch Russell Crowe as Picasso!

• News Line of the Week

from the wires

“He was a loving, caring individual,” said an emotional Snoop Dogg (no relation), who reportedly got a tattoo of his friend’s face the day before.

Wait! Does that mean that Donald and Daffy aren’t related? Queen Elizabeth II and Godfather II also not? 

Me sad. :(

• Heads Up!

Just walked by a truck that had Acme Safe Co. written on it.

• Fisher Stevens Directing John Leguizamo’s One Man Show

           Here’s how they decided to work together:

Fisher Stevens

[in voice that mocks his repulsive nerdiness but is really very angry about]

...I'm an annoying twerp

John Leguizamamo

[in voice that mocks his Latino-ness but don’t you dare ask him to do it Seinfeld, you racist Jew you]

or alternately

[with a very cute lisp]

OMG…Me too!

FS & JL

[together]

Let's team up!

• Lamest Cry For Help of the Week 

      AND 
      Lamest Excuse of the Week

Beth was out with Simon, and I was in the middle of preparing tacos for the six boys sleeping over for Max’s 11^th birthday [We couldn't just do pizza like everyone else. No….] One of the kids told me that someone was knocking at our door. It was our new neighbor, a mom of two boys:

Neighbor: Do you have mice?

Me: Occasionally.

N: What do you do?

M: Feed em. Kill em. Depends.

N: I mean what do you do when you catch one. We have one on a glue trap, and I can’t get hold of the super.

M: I guess keep trying him.

N: But it’s squeaking, and the squeaking is really bothering my sister. [?]

M: Sorry, but I’m cooking for six boys now.

N: But my husband isn’t coming home for an hour!

M: Well, I guess you’re going to have to woman up and kill it yourself.

N: Oh, I can’t do that. I teach yoga.

NY Times 3-31 The Good & The Bad

Oh Goodie! Another Thing To Be All Retro About: Typewriters!!

[The reason this piece is late is because I wrote it on a wonderful old Remington. Then retyped it because of typors. Then had it set in type face, printed, and fed manually into the interweb]

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/31/fashion/31Typewriter.html?ref=fashion

What’s going to make a comeback next?

• Slide rulers? -- just love the feel of the wood, the incomprehensibility!
• Beepers? -- need I say more?
• Belted sanitary pads? --  I really like to feel protected
• Pogroms? – veiled anti-Semitism is so done. I want to be hated to my face, have my home trashed, really feel the loathing.

Kids Doing Real Woodworking

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/31/garden/31kids.html?_r=1&hpw

I’ve tried for years to get my kids in actual cooking classes not the only kind you can actually find in New York City, the pudding-stirring-stay-away-from-heat-and-sharp-objects-you-precious-little-idiot-you classes. It’s like the first thing a seven year old would do in front of an open flame is put his face on it because it’s so bright and colorful. As if even if kids were that stupid, then all the adults present supervising would somehow be so inept or inattentive that they would let them.

Sorry I have to go now, Simon just flipped the steaks on our hardwood charcoal grill with a pair of tongs more than half his height, and I have to stir the pudding. [Actually Simon did that two summers ago when he was six. The following fall he got to chop celery with a plastic knife at the JCC].

I never did find a decent cooking class, but at least these dudes have stepped up with real tools!